Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Farmer Fail

I wore the best angora wool,
Ate the finest angus prime rib…
Baked only free range chickens;
Hobby farming’s what I did.

I scrambled giant goose eggs
Fried bacon from the kid’s pet pig…
Ate catfish from my garden pond,
With frog’s legs that I gigged.

I made wallets for Christmas gifts,
From the finest home-tanned leather…
I hand plucked pounds of goose down,
To stuff blankets for winter weather.

Now these vain accomplishments,
Haunt and torment my guilty strife.
These farm animals were loyal to me,
And I failed to save their life.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Rest Home Misfit

I’ll never fit in at a rest home,
Nor give up my 7th grade humor…
If I look serious when found dead,
Any speculation, is all a rumor.

I laugh at all the gutter jokes,
See life’s fails as humorous irony…
Life’s too short to wear a frown
Happy’s all I want to be.

Neighbors discuss bowel movements,
Complain of arthritic pain…
I say wash down another aspirin,
With wine and dance again.

Sunday, November 13, 2016


I set my milestones at fifteen years,
It drove my friends insane.
“Why do you rush to the future,
When so many years remain?”

I hated Baskin Robbins,
Three dollars for a single cone…
I could go to Safeway,
And take one gallon home.

I refused to go to concerts,
And pay ten dollars for a beer.
I watched ball games on my TV,
With a same price 12 pack near.

I’m sixty-five years old now,
Imagining I am eighty years old.
The fifteen-year equation,
Can’t buy back the times I’ve sold.